“Yeah well you know I care about you deeply and all that stuff. And you know that I would do near anything for you these days – within reason I suppose. That’s very obvious. But there are moments where I think far back, far back to the times where you were ..in control and I guess I automatically have a certain wonder. A certain reservation that those that did have control over me don’t fully respect me as an equal these days. Would I ever be an equal to you guys? I’m not entirely certain and that makes me feel kind of wary to an extent. Even being involved with you hasn’t removed this anxious and unnerving feeling that will probably continue to haunt me for the future.

It just seems to be a reminder that I have these idle feelings fo inadequacy in the presence of others. But you know you did influence me a solid amount and you continue to do so to this day. I do ..want to be better. I don’t know how good I can get but I do feel driven to be better and that’s partially out of having encountered you. ”