“Hmm. I guess you’re right. It’s not so strange after all.”
There was a bit of silence on her end, as she took a few moments to calmly sip her pale ale. Without too much else to say on that topic, she wanted to redirect the conversation to something a little weirder, maybe.
“Random question. Have you ever been to the moon?”
A nod of agreement, as if closing the chapter on that aspect. It seemed fitting that there wasn’t too much more to say and Saima was content to drink for a few moments.
“The moon? Well, yeah – it’s really nice, gorgeous. Actually real. Mostly quite craggy. Very much like what has been seen of it.”It had been a venture that they had tried a few decades ago as if wanting to be anywhere but on Earth for some time.
She didn’t remember what they were drinking before, but, with instructions as vague as those, she felt it’d be right if they joined her in depressing IPA land, and got them both Lagunitas.
“I guess there is a point,” she said as she sat back down, sliding the pint their way. “This is gonna sound a little odd, but… my memory’s really, really good when my life is in danger. Or when there’s some high stakes involved, like if I know someone else in some deep shit. At those times, I’ve got a crystal clear memory, and can rapidly comb through my brain to access any relevant information. But on a normal day? I’m virtually useless.”
Once Phi returned with the beers, Saima gave a small ‘thanks’ Beefore listening further to what the other had been talking about. It was the point of the evening where Saima couldn’t be bothered caring too much about where that drink as long as it was a decent beer.
“Actually, that doesn’t sound too odd at all. I mean it’s a unique situation but it’s not surprising that danger brings out a sharpness that might not be otherwise present. I’ve seen similar situations where strength and agility are heightened by being in danger in otherwise quite ordinary people. So it seems perfectly reasonable to me that it might happen with someone’s memory.”
“That’s exactly it,” she replied. “I’ve been doing so much memory training over the years, to keep my mind sharp, to make sure I remember what I’m supposed to remember. And even then, there’s stuff that I swear I’ve seen hundreds of times, but when I need to remember it most, it’s just… gone. Completely gone. There’s a giant hole where that mental data is supposed to be, and I hate it.”
Her IPA was done, and she slowly scooted herself up from the table to get another. The lines had started to thin a tiny bit, thankfully. “If only I could upgrade my internal storage like a computer could. I had a friend who can’t stop bragging about how cheap disk space is gonna be in the future, and it makes me want to slap him. Anyway, I’m getting another beer. You want anything else, or are you good for now?”
“Yeah, I can imagine how annoying it is to know that you learned something and now you can’t remotely access that information at all. Like damn, what was the point of learning it in the first place.” They had some experiences with that since it was likely that their own memory could get blurry over time as they straddle the line between reality and myth so often that the difference was irrelevant.
“Wouldn’t that ability be useful.“ Saima couldn’t resist chuckle at the comment about Phi wanting to slap her friend. “Sounds like he’s a character. I could use another beer. I’m not too particular about the kind as long as it’s not Bud Light ot anything like that.
It was just past 11:30 pm at night, the little modern jazz combo having announced a twenty minute intermission. Most of the patrons had either gone out for a smoke break or a refill at the bar, leaving most of the tables empty, save for the one with the two pale-haired twenty somethings.
Neither of them were in their twenties in a linear passing of time, but, whatever.
In a little while, Phi would need another IPA, but for now, she had a stronger inclination to continue their conversation from earlier.
“Anyway, before all this, we were talking about consciousness, right? ‘Cause for a boring old mortal like me, governed by the rules of science, science usually says that wherever consciousness is, it’s probably stored locally, somewhere in between all the neurons and synapses in our neural network. I’d wager you a twenty dollar bill, though, that consciousness is a lot more like cloud storage, and our bodies are just accessing the relevant data, if you will.”
She took a sip of her beer. “It’s just a possibility.”
Sipping at their beer, Saima listens to Phi’s addition from their earlier conversations. It makes the deity think for a moment. For all their otherworldly traits, they also knew well the sciences of this world since they had lived among it as somewhat resembling a human for quite some time.
“You know – it might not be surprising if human consciousness is something more like cloud storage. There is so much to a person’s consciousness that isn’t fully explained by the neurons and synapses. But it’s hard to tell where that additional ‘content’ so to speak actually is. And I can imagine this idea is part of the reason why things end up getting lost over time – since only so much relevant data can be accessed over the years and there are inevitably leaks along the way.“
Saima doesn’t actually mind being able to hold people at a comfortable length from them. After all, it is within their culture to maintain some space at pretty much all times unless with close friends and family.
However, Saima has taken this tendency to extremes that often border on reclusive behavior more than once in their existence. And although ..they know being so self-isolated often exacerbates their depression at times, they are way too used to it to feel much shame about it.
They are trying to change by stepping out of a position that doesn’t fit for them but it remains left to be seen, how do they feel the space left behind of going to those international gatherings or whatever.
“You know… It’s hard to wish something of my past when my past is a whole complicated deal. A mixture of reality and fantasy blurring together to the point that the difference is ultimately irrelevant since it all feels and is true in my accounts. So – honestly? Not really, as much as I love the experiences of way, way long ago – I think it’s more important to take experiences and leverage that towards whatever the future may hold.“
What do you prefer, kindness, sternness, or apathy?
“Kindness and sternness aren’t exactly mutually exclusive. But I think I would have to do kindness and that kindness can mean being stern to someone sometimes in order to help them out. I think conducting whatever you can with a sense of kindness is incredibly valuable and not taken seriously enough.
As for apathy, I find myself plagued with it. I wouldn’t really wish it on others though. It can way too easily prevent one from taking meaningful action.“
“You’d think you would having existed as long as I have. But.. I don’t really. I always seem to be able to find something new to learn. And frankly, that keeps live worth being around for just because there are still so much more to witness and be aware. Plenty of opportunities to explore. Although I suppose it takes a lot more these days to find something truly new – since there are a lot of cycles that come and go.”
“Ah. I’ve done a number of foolish things in an attempt to impress someone. A few centuries back when I had been trying to pretend to be an average citizen, I had attempted to court a young woman in the village. I attempted to write a song to commemorate her personality and all that I admired about it. Unfortunately, I didn’t seem to realize she was a visitor at best and was only going to be there for maybe a week or so further. By the time I actually performed the song for her – it was on the day she was going to leave.
And..so. I don’t really know if she was ever impressed. I never got the chance to find out. I assume probably not. When flustered, my wordplay is probably not at its best.”
[In the near future – I’ve just really want to see Saima to build relations with more deity-type folks to kind of have that sort of community to depend on. I’d also like to focus on exploring liminal spaces where nothing feels real and why Saima seems to like those places so much.
I’d also like to do more focus on the way that Saima has changed and really come into themselves – just in the way that they interact with others.
I low-key kind of want something affectionate for them but honestly, I have no idea where that would even come from to be honest. So that’s kind of in the back-burner.]
Seekesotsibteadmist 