@icecoldredfever

   “Ever felt like you know it wasn’t quite your place to be around certain people?” It was a thought that Saima had been kicking around lately and talking to someone a little outside of the general rep people seemed like a safe way to think it out. While they weren’t really sure how this would go, Saima at least liked Ivar enough to be willing to admit to him some of the changes that had been going on.

icecoldredfever:

[text]:

You do know exactly who that is.

[text]:

He’s a big old loser that has a broken ‘emotion control’ in his head that connects to his face, but it’s till in there. All of that emotional stuff, it’s just beneath the surface under some heavy thick layering. But it’s there. And some of it’s reserved for you.

[text] He’s so great. Even with all that layering, one can tell he clearly is capable of caring deeply about others. And to know thatsome of that is fro me is really nice.

icecoldredfever:

[text]:

I do it too. Most people do something to hide their insecurities. It’s what people do. Don’t beat yourself up so much over the little shit ya can’t control, and just think how far you’ve come.

[text]:

Look at what ya have, who ya have in your life and take whatever you can get. I can name at least one other man that thinks the world of ya.

[text] Right. That;s fair. I just worry that it’s not enough but..I have to let that go a little bit somehow.

[text] Fair enough. Haha, I bet I know exactly who that is.

icecoldredfever:

[text]:

I know it’s not ‘problem solved’, but it’s something. Just another thing to put under your pillow at night to rest your head easy. We all need something to ease us from our pasts. Present. Unpredictable futures. Everyone does.

[text]:

It’s what makes ya human, despite all that you’ve been through. Any normal ‘human’ would have crumbled by now, but you haven’t. Ya have your moments of weakness, but no one is unbreakable stainless steel. If we were we’d be rough, jagged and sharp to the touch of anyone else that touched us. Believe me, sometimes we all just need someone’s touch. Be it through friendship, hugs, or whatever you can think of in comfort. All of us.

[text] Yeah, it might not be a lot but it’s something. I know how this need for some kind of comfort or something just haunts me from time to time.

[text] Right. And I feel like some actually try to put up that front of being rough,jagged and sharp – but I never really see the point of that. Although I realize I try to keep myself composed I can’t help but need that kind of comfort from time to time.

icecoldredfever:

[text]:

Tell that to the people ya call friends. They’d disagree in a heartbeat.

[text]: In the grand scheme of all the things that really matter, that’s gotta count for something.

[text]: 

Right?

[text]…that’s true.

[text] I’d like to think that does. 

[text] So I guess there is that.

[text]: You stress too much over what is out of your control. I get it tho, I do it too. We all do. It’s tough, but you’re tougher than fuckin’ nails, sweets. Everything you do leaves a mark.

[text] …true. It’s so annoying this lack of control. 

[text]Sometimes it feels like I don’t…feel especially tough at all. So it’s kind of weird. But I’m glad you seem to think  that there’s a mark made.