How much pain can your muse withstand?
They can handle most of being burned alive pretty okay. Towards the end they pass out rather than feel a whole lot. Additionally, they can deal with wounds from sword injuries are gun shots okay – but it’ll be obvious that they are hurt. They’ll just continue at least until they get to a point where they need to withdraw.
So they take about an average about of pain and would be able to work through it for some time longer, if something required that.
How easily does your muse cave to pressure?
It depends on who it comes from. But in generally, it takes a lot for Saam to cave to pressure.Obviously during previous eras was easier to coerce Saam into doing things they clearly did not want to do. But currently – the result of those experiences have made a much more stubborn Saamuel who does not care to bend if they see no actual benefit coming out of it.
In what ways is your muse sexually deviant, if at all?
Uh. I don’t know if Saam would refer to their interests as sexually deviant… but they liked being restrained, they like undressing for someone – they like sensation play, they like being marked up and being bitten during sex. They enjoy blindfolding and teasing others. They like being watched at least by someone they are into. Things like that I suppose.
Yes.
Saamuel will never, ever confess to what happened to the proto-siblings that they had in their youth – before they even encountered Finland or Baltics to the south.
It does haunt them since they can very easily still hear the memories of those ‘siblings’ and the culture of their land is reflected from the traditions of those kids.
But because there is no reason to bring up that happening, it’s something Saam would much rather keep to themselves. It’s also the reason that Saam will never truly see themselves as remotely decent because they know full well what they were capable of.
The idea of what Saam will never ever confess to can be found here.
Sometimes, memories surface of little things.
Things Saam hadn’t really considered all that seriously in quite some time. Thoughts of their youth when they found that even when among the humans, they felt something about their presences that was incredibly foreign. The fact that moments of strange incidents they were able to cause with their voice or a wave of the hand didn’t seem to help either. A sweep of the wind here, a song to spread influence, the way the grass reacted to the way that walked among it. The way water seemed to react well if they behaved in just the right way. Maybe that’s why they were brought along sea voyages even as a child.
The way it felt entirely too natural to end up covered in plants and feel like it was an adornment. The way they could feel like they projected something that shouldn’t make any damn sense. The way it was so easy to practically disappear in a matter of moments.
And the feeling of strangeness was quite mutual – of course. It leads them to have to hide every now and then. To keep on the move. Now that wasn’t too unusual for the story of their colleagues.
But for this foreign feeling to continue among others that didn’t readily age was unexpected. For here, Saam had expected to find much more commonalities. And to an extent, they did. But this feeling of being oddly …not present even among others of their ‘kind’ didn’t seem to make any sense.
In most ways the behavior was similar but those memories of being able to do such little things and yet those they worked with did not – was something they had thought about. Over the years, they hid some of the little things they were able to do. Mostly keeping these things for when they were absolutely alone whether that was at home or out in nature. Not quite able to forget them entirely but feeling maybe it is not prudent to mention these things with company. Besides they were never able to put a finger around why this happened and what this was supposed to mean. After all, they were connected to the people the land, what it stood for. But it didn’t mean Saam should be able to do some of the things that they can.
In these thoughts, Saam could only reflect about how little was actually understood of what it meant to be some kind of embodiment. And wonder how many variations were actually available out here. Since they had their suspicions it was much more than anyone could have expected.
If they’re in a bad enough state not much. Although they wouldn’t reveal it in public but if Saam was going through a depression episode, they clearly would withdraw and cry if things got overwheming.
Otherwise, nonstop poking at something they perceive to be a flaw may get them on the edge of tears. They’d hide it. They will almost always do their crying in private if they can help it.
But on the other side of the coin, a particularly moving movie or musical performance can inspire some tears.
What makes them feel safe is feeling understood and accepted. This has been a running theme throughout their life in feeling safe when they felt like being themselves was something that people valued. It’s incredibly relevant recently considering the developments in their life. So they tend to feel secure and safe around those that they know will at least try to understand them.
Insecure? Ah. I suppose the knowledge that they are very much outside of bounds even for the expectations of a personification makes them feel pretty anxious. So it makes them feel kind of out of place. They’ve felt like this for a while but even now having reasons that they felt that way, it only makes them feel a little more self-conscious.
Unsafe – usually news about happenings in a place directly to the east gets them fairly anxious and on high alert. But that’s a status they’ve maintained on a low level since they were independent. So that’s nothing new for Saam.
1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid?
There’s been a solid number of these. But let’s say the first time invaders came to Estonia when they were a kid. They were very angry at the intrusion but they were also scared because they didn’t really know what was really going to happen to them. Usually the people managed to fight them off – but when the Danes actually took over the place, that was a situation Saam was definitely not ready for.
4. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened?
Yes. Let’s say some individuals that they thought they could rely on to help them maintain their independence in mid-century, ended up being overly complacent and complicit really in allowing forces to take over their homeland which would lead to a long period of pretty intense hardships the ramifications of which still haunt them to this day.
I would definitely argue that Saam is more emotionally strong because they’ve had their existence basically trappled on multiple times and still managed to come out of it determined to continue. And I feel like there’s a ton of resilience to their character that has helped them get through truly horrifying times.
Not to say that they’re physically weak per say – much stronger than they appear despite their history since otherwise, they would have been wiped out at earlier points in time. But I think this comes through best in combination with that emotional strength that they have.
Dumb headcanon below.
All I have to say is that there are certain musical artists and albums that if played – it seems like a whole another side comes out.
AndDepeche Mode is definitely one of them. That text post about Martin Gore songs about having fun vs Dave Gahan songs about wanting to fuck Satan is very real.
At least in terms of Saam’s reaction.
And it always makes me laugh thinking about that.
Seekesotsibteadmist 