Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
“The thing I regret the most so far. Uh. I…There is a story about myself as a youth that I have never told anyone and I don’t really intend on changing that. But there is an action that I took while I was no more than maybe 8 years old physically that signifies the end of my childhood and the realization that I could be no..ordinary person, that I could not really be any kind of good. I..At the time the action was justified but I still think I regret that a lot.Otherwise it was just.. things I felt I could have fought harder to avoid even though I could have failed in doing so.”
Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.
“I think that’s a toss-up for me. It’s between the first ‘official’ birthday that I had in 1918 when I truly felt like an adult and coming into my own after centuries of being stuck in this limbo state of somewhat maturing but never really being in control. And the other one is the 1st birthday after regaining my independence – it seemed to reinforce how important that day was to me since for so long I couldn’t celebrate publicly under threat of duress.”
Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.
“The best dream? I think my favorite dreams often involve seeing my people in control of their own destinies and actually happy. It’s a lot to ask for but it’s a dream that I like having more than anything else. It’s a dream that’s gotten me through some incredibly difficult times more than once.”
Talk about your worst fear.
Saima is silent for a little while as if to think about it. “You know I’m incredibly wary about losing self-sovereignty. That would be a real nightmare for me since so much effort and sacrifices have been made in the service of becoming independent, and re-gaining independence – that to have that ripped again would be truly horrifying. It would lead me through a really dark period of questioning my existence for sure.”
Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
“I always have a weakness for personal stories from citizens about their grandparents and being able to remember interacting with those grandparents and seeing the threads of their families coming together. So I guess it means a lot to see the lines of family continuing on through the generations in spite of the challenges that my people have faced over the years. There is a resilience about them that is in incredibly admirable. It only serves to reinforce my dedication of service to them.”
Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
A dry, dark laugh comes out of Saima’s mouth as their eyes drift off. “There are a lot of those things. I wish I wouldn’t deny my feelings. I wish I wouldn’t avoid telling people what’s on my mind so much. I wish I could stop self-isolating when I feel withdrawal periods coming on. I wish I could stop evaluating the motives of everyone around me. I wish I could stop doubting myself and putting myself down a little bit in my head. I wish I could stop being so pessimistic about being around others. I wish I could stop overthinking things until it practically drives me up the wall. I wish I could… I wish i could stop doing a lot of things. I suppose the issue is I know for a fact that I …I’m not really likely to stop. Despite my best efforts.”
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