Saima stares for a solid moment before giggling. Sometimes they had their sillier moments.âFuck. Or Firetruck, I suppose if you wanted to be cleaner about it.â
Tag: asks
𤠖 Talk about a book they saw my muse reading (because lbr rian more than likely read it or wants to read it)

  âOh this one? This is Uks lagendikus, Door on an Opening in English by Andres Eihn. He has made some really great poetry books including this one. Although I do also recommend his novels. I just happened to be in a poetic spirit I guess for my reading. â
âď¸ (Been a while since Ivan bugged him, eh?)
[one itâs them not him. but yeah. been a bit.]
   âWhile I donât really know your motives for this, I suppose a cup of coffee wouldnât do much harm. â They had no qualms about having some reservations but something so casual couldnât go too wrong. Maybe. Saima did have to consider who they were dealing with here.
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  What the hell, what the hell. This was not something they had asked to happen, this was not something that they had planned. And yet here they were kissing Gilbert after a few drinks. It hadnât felt bad, it hadnât felt bad at all. Who had started this? They couldnât remember, hoped they wouldnât remember.  It didnât seem like them to just kiss someone.Â
Surely it had to be some kind of dare.
After all, despite this being unplanned, Saima would have been lying if they hadnât thought about it. Thoughts they were much more inclined to ignore and suppress, but casual thoughts nonetheless.
What was going on here? There was nothing more than the instinct to run away after they had pulled back. What if he hit them? It seemed likely, possible – almost inevitable.Â
âDid you think I wasnât capable of doing that?â
Everything about them found themselves in a flight instinct. Â They were silent, anxious and altogether ready for the blow that was almost certainly coming their way. Something about them felt withdrawn, they body language felt like they were purposely trying to detach from the entire thing…Â
Apologies came out from the mouth, even if they suspected that they would fall on deaf ears.
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Uncertain what the approach was to do here, Saima gave a casual peck to the cheek to Juan. It was definitely out of their normal zone to show such a gesture to someone they had relatively recently come to know.Â
But if anything would help, Saima was willing to try things at least once.Â
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A peck on the cheek for Lilli.Â
âThanks for being a lovely friend. Your presence really means a lot.â Little gestures were harmless and a show of appreciation. Sometimes Saima lacked the words to express what Lilli meant to them.
meta: fashion sense !
Saimaâs fashion sense has definitely changed over time. For a long time, it was the simplest things they could get because they were never really in a position of status outside of maybe being the assistant to whoever ruled at the time. And maybe then theyâd have the occasional nice outfit. Â There was also traditional handmade outfits made with the assistance of local elders at the time.
But even after independence, they maintained a simplicity to their style and a determination to look sharp and professional no matter what. Their sense was an effort to leave a good impression on those they worked with and make them feel like they belonged in the company they kept.Â
As they started to transition, this need to keep a sharp impression somewhat loosened to their interest in looking soft and comfortable. While they do like a nice suit, it is now tailored differently to focus on the silhouette in a striking way. They are much more interested in heightening the femme nature of the way they have been presenting. While they are still fairly laidback and simple, they enjoy light colors during warm weather and darker clothes during the season. They always enjoy a nice sweater or loose vest. They have been wearing more shirtdress and other varieties of shifts with a belt at the waist. Nonetheless, there is a casual cleanliness to the way that they dress – always well-put together with a bit of effort.
Preferred shoes are flats and low-heeled ankle boots, although they may experiment with the heels on of those boots.They wear modest makeup, focusing on eyeliner and lip color, natural as if to play it if off as nothing unusual. Maybe theyâll slip in ear cuffs from time to time. They wear a bracelet or two and a necklace when they are feeling up to it. It just depends on what strikes them fo the event they are attending.Â
Meta thing irdk: is saima a pessimist?
Saima would like to deny that they are a pessimist and if anyone asked, theyâd say they would take a more realist approach to things. But honestly, in their heart, they do have something of a pessimistic streak. Especially when it comes to anything personal.
They donât trust or expect many of those that they work with to care for them, or at least not very long at a time. The nature of what they do leads to feeling like the fact that they are a tertiary player, at best, means that they donât really matter to anyone.Â
Which is a situation that they have gotten accustomed to over the years. They figure if people are going to abandon me to my fate again (as has happened before even from people they considered close), they might as well be prepared for the situation to arise.
“I can’t stand him.”

  âSomehow I get the feeling that youâre definitely not alone in that sentiment. In fact, Iâm sure at this point, more would agree with you than not.â
âNever stop hopingâŚâ

  They want to say that itâs easy for Juan to say that. But instead Saima remains silent for a moment, wrestling with the memories that still make thing hyper-aware of the challenges they face. âYeah, yeah. Iâll try. But I canât say itâll make my expectations any less..skeptical I guess.â