“Lilli is a ..very, very good friend of mine. And I do appreciate that she cares about me and about others to the extent that she does. I.. I sometimes do get bothered by the fact that she clearly does not get back as much as she gives. Like that does irritate me to the point of sincere anger but… I can’t expect much on that front, no matter how much I wish that would change. And it’s not good to surface that kind of anger too often if it can be avoided.

I wonder if it’s a way of channeling my own issues with resentment. Probably. Can’t make myself mad on my own behalf but for that of others..possible.

I ..I know she has her issues, ones that I can sympathize with entirely too well. Sometimes …I do feel like a dangerous friend for her just because we share some of the rougher internal struggles that are pretty hard to hide at a certain point. And I’m more likely to be blunter about the impact of this internalized situation – at least personally.

But I do enjoy her company quite a bit. She’s pretty good. I mean everyone has things they struggle with and I want her to know that I acknowledge that and if she ever wants a listening ear, she’s got one in me.”