“My best friend. My darling, incredibly best friend. I worry about him so much. Because I really want nothing more than to see him happy. I feel for him so often with the struggles with depression and everything. But I would never want to push anything on him. I could never ask for too much from him. 

I…I am happy that he seems to be enjoying being with Kalju. I do wish he would see that he is much much better than he gives himself credit for. Although, I know he can’t really help it. I have similar struggles so who am I to say how he should feel. I just want him to enjoy life. Enjoy himself even. He’s great. 

I can’t wait to see him more often now that’s staying in my land. I already visited enough before but this… this is a nice change. And he’s been so good to me. So good to support me through as much as he could. 

It’s just a pity that there are moments I just.. he reminds me of time that I have lost. And it makes me feel a little angry. Not at him, never ever at him. But of what he sometimes reminds me of. That is all.”